it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
