my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
