I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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