last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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