...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
