Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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