Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
