I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
