I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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