I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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