You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
