If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Can you bring me the toilet please
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
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