So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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