Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
