I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
