what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
it's great music for shaving your balls
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
