What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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