I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
