If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
