ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
