You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
