I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
