i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize