i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
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