these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
