I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He called his prostate his "boner button".
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize