it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
