We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
