Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
