she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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