I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
