at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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