Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
