My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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