Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
