We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
