what day is it and did you see me today?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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