hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
