are you still at the devil's house?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Rumble strips road head = magical
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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