Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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