She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
