he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Did I show you my penis last night?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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