i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Is her dick bigger than yours?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
