he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I think a kid would responsible me up
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
