"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
