we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Randomize
