just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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