ugly people sure do ruin things
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
