She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
