What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
