woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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