I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Randomize
