Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize