Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
