yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
