Dude my mom stole all your condoms
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
