if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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