so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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