Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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