this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
