the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
