dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
