Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I want to fling myself into the sun
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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