Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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