I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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