he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
