There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize