The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
