So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
