He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
