She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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